


Vampire

by wheel_pen



Series: Agent and Doctor [4]
Category: The Bourne Legacy (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-10 20:49:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3303008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheel_pen/pseuds/wheel_pen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeremy has a new mission: he’s going undercover as a vampire! Or so he says. Rachel is not impressed with his training efforts so far.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vampire

“Well, that’s healing nicely,” Rachel judged, looking at the once-deep gash in Jeremy’s side. She had taken the stitches out two days before and doubted she’d be able to see where the injury had been in a week or so. “Okay, you can get dressed now,” she allowed, ripping off her gloves and turning away to scribble some notes.

“I have a new hairstyle,” Jeremy informed her.

“I noticed,” Rachel agreed. It was short and kind of spiky on top, like a ‘90’s computer nerd. “Do you have a new mission?”

“Yes. I’m going undercover as a vampire.”

Rachel looked back over her shoulder at him to see if he’d suddenly developed a sense of humor, but none was in evidence. “Really,” she responded dryly, checking his chart for notes about delusional tendencies.

“Dr. Ward, would you like me to demonstrate some of the vampire skills I’ve been practicing?” Jeremy asked. He sounded mildly excited about the idea so she decided to humor him.

“Sure, tiger,” Rachel agreed, checking off the final boxes on her notes. “But don’t try to bite me.” She turned her chair around and found him frozen behind her, mouth open to display canine ‘fangs’ and hands raised as if to grab her. She raised an eyebrow and he closed his mouth and put his hands down.

“Oh.” He was notably disappointed.

Rachel was about to shake her head and send him on his way before anything else weird could happen, when she remembered something. “Wait a second, did you bite Karl’s arm the other day?” she accused.

“I couldn’t reach his neck,” Jeremy admitted with a touch of petulance, “and he wouldn’t sit down for me.”

Rachel stood and made him sit on the exam table again so he would know she was serious. “Jeremy! I had to give him stitches! And a tetanus shot.” Since he’d been unforthcoming about the source of his injury. Jeremy shrugged a little as if to say, ‘So?’ “And Dr. Kedar said that some of _his_ agents had presented with human bite marks this week,” she added suspiciously.

“Well, I have to practice for my mission,” Jeremy insisted innocently.

Rachel wasn’t sure if he was somehow misinterpreting his new mission, or if this was just what happened when agents got bored. “Jeremy, you can’t go around biting other agents,” she told him, as apparently this hadn’t been covered in Agent Kindergarten.

“I’m not allowed to bite _staff_ ,” he countered, getting slightly sullen.

“No more biting people at the Center,” Rachel told him firmly. “I forbid it.” He seemed to take her commands seriously.

“But my mission—“

“You bring me a memo from the Director saying you’re allowed to bite people,” Rachel challenged, “and maybe I’ll reconsider. Go bite—sides of beef or something.” Clearly this lacked the verisimilitude he desired. She read a pout on his mostly-neutral expression and felt bad about it, even though that was ridiculous. “What other vampire abilities have you been working on?” she encouraged him, wondering if it was really a good idea.

“I have so far failed to turn into a bat,” he reported, disgusted.

“Uh-huh, that’s a tough one,” Rachel nodded, trying to keep her expression serious. “Did you ask Dennis about that? Did he have any suggestions?”

“He did not.” She could only imagine what the crusty trainer’s reaction had been.

“Well, um, I think we’re done here,” Rachel allowed and he slipped off the exam table. “Good luck with the vampire practice, buddy.”

“Thank you, Dr. Ward.”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Jeremy Renner's guest-starring role on Angel


End file.
